1. It’s off the whole thing is off my life my mind my heart I don’t know where they connect or what is supposed to be where I’m confused I’m lost I’m alone would things be in place if I’m not alone? What am I supposed to do? Fill idle time with meaningless movement? I’m uncontrolled, out of control, missing. I’m missing. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s him. Maybe I’m in his way being in my way I’m letting him be in my way. I want to be someone’s something. Why won’t he love me the same? I’m over loving. Loving him more than me. No one will love me until I love me. But I loved me until I loved him. I think he’s lost me and doesn’t know my love so I lost it too and don’t know where my love for me went. It went to him. But since he can’t see it I can’t either. He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t need me. He doesn’t want to need me. But I don’t want to need him. Do I need him? I do. I want him and I need him. And I miss him. I miss him. I miss him wanting and needing me.

    Beating my heart
    Idle movement is where I find my heart
    Not still
not moving
    There is no course
    Is this lost is this found?
In a binding mutilating distortion
    This is where they meet…my heart and my soul…
    It’s just my mind
Beating my heart

    When I was there
    None of it was beautiful and it all hurt very badly.
The most beautiful thing is I am still here to see that.


  2. t0xic-smiles:

    so many notes! can’t believe it. guess that shows how many people are so sad right now.

    It’s only on the inside


  3. True Love is rare

    He tells me that I’m beautiful but then he says what I’m not.
    He tells me I just run away, but he doesn’t know I’ve already been caught.
    He doesn’t know my life took off before I was ready to start.
    The devil stole my mind but The Lord captured my heart.
    I had to learn the hard way how ugly the world can be.
    I had to learn how the true beauty is held within me.
    I had to learn all life’s worst lessons at only 17.
    I had to learn that I am worth more than anyone can see.
    He doesn’t quite understand but thinks he might have an idea.

    He doesn’t really get that a woman like me is extremely rare.
    He doesn’t realize that if he goes, he’s gone, life is not, but love should be fair.